The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka – by Amara Charles

Sexual Practices of QuodoushkaBook Excerpt

Chapter 2

An Initiation into the World of Sexuality

No matter how we are introduced to sex in our early years, our first sexual experiences leave an indelible mark on our character for years to come.

The Keys to an Effective Sexual Education
While it may not be feasible to turn back the clock to romanticize about how very ancient civilizations may have taught young people about sex, it is possible to practice the essential ingredients of a proper introduction to sexuality by way of initiation. An initiation should begin years before anything “sexual” occurs. It does not mean having early sex. In fact, an effective education emphasizes patience and proper discernment and should encourage safe exploration. Above all, it should instill a strong sense of self-worth, responsibility, and respect. To do this, we need careful guidance from someone who knows us well.

Phoenix Fire Woman
A Phoenix Fire Woman is a title given to a woman who is trained not only in the skills of lovemaking, but she is acknowledged as a Medicine Woman by the community for being a wise teacher and a consummate healer. The same is true for a Phoenix Fire Man. One of their roles is to ensure that young people are respectfully taught about how to use their sexual energy.

This interview serves as a model for what an initiation with a Phoenix Fire Woman could be like. It speaks of the essential things a young man needs to learn and how he should be taught in order to become a mature and loving husband.

Initiation with Phoenix Fire Woman

Amara:
Can you tell us how your training began?

Adam:
My education started when I was seven years old, learning about nature from my clan uncles, Neal Two Arrows and Edward Walking Bear.

Amara:
What kinds of things did you learn from them?

Adam:
They taught me that there was nothing I could perceive that was outside of me, but that it was a part of me only if I stayed connected to it. The most important thing was to stay connected to Spirit because this is the energy that created all the mineral, plant, animal, human, and spirit worlds. We never had any formal lessons on any of this. We went for walks, hunted and fished together, or hung out and talked. My real education wasn’t about facts; it was about noticing and learning from everything. Once you learn to be more observant, you can take that into being with a woman. You perceive differently, because a woman has minerals, water, warmth, and breath; she has the emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and spiritual worlds inside her.

Amara:
What were the most important things you learned from your clan uncles?

Adam:
To feel the cycles of things. Years later I could take what I learned from nature and notice the changes in the smell, for example when a woman cycles through her moon (menstruation). All of the changes a woman goes through, I could recognize and was able to communicate about them in much more responsive ways. As men, we have to be able to learn about these things because “y’all are from Venus and we’re from Mars.” We have to learn how to be able to get along and live together. The most important thing I learned from both Neal and Edward is that a woman is closest to nature, she is nature and she is natural. If you cannot align with nature you cannot align with the feminine. Nature and the feminine are inseparable. This changes your whole perception of a woman.

Amara:
Tell us how you were introduced to the Fire Woman Mary Fire Eagle.

Adam:
When I was eighteen my grandmother, whom I will call Morning Star, brought me to Mary Fire Eagle’s living room. I was introduced to six women and was asked to choose one as a teacher. My first choice was a gorgeous, young, red-haired woman who caught my eye immediately. I was totally smitten by her, and I fully intended to walk over to her, but for some reason I went to Mary instead. She was beautiful too, but she was thirty-nine, which seemed much, much older to me at the time. I am very glad I made this decision, because I know now it was a test that changed the direction of my life. All of those women could have taught an eager young man plenty about sex, but it was Mary who became one of my greatest teachers. It was really spirit that guided me to choose her that day. She taught me most of what I know.

Amara:
How did you feel when you met her?

Adam:
Awed. [Smiling and laughing] Loved. Accepted. Recognized. I never once felt uncomfortable with her at any time no matter what the situation.

Amara:
How did you begin?

Adam:
My first lessons were to see how what I had learned from nature could be applied to her and her body. For example, sensitivity of touch. She asked, “What part of my body feels like a rose? What part feels like a tulip? What part feels like a sunflower?” She had really rough feet, so her feet felt like parts of sunflower leaves. It sounds funny, but it was really quite innocent in many, many ways. I also had to learn about the different anatomy types, which is one of the things you focus on in the first level of Quodoushka training. By being with different women and learning their sexual anatomy types, I came to understand a great deal about the natural sexual differences between women. Women are not all the same, and by coming to know their anatomy you can be a much more caring partner and you can satisfy a woman’s needs and desires in a far more sophisticated way.

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